


By the Sea

by kitty7



Category: Homeland
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance, season 6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-22 01:42:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9576254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitty7/pseuds/kitty7
Summary: Some time into season 6 Carrie and Quinn are stuck with their restrained emotions, both don't know what to do.She won’t let him go though. She will never turn away, it’s in her head now and she can’t let go.





	

The water comes, rolling to the shore. The waves build up, long strokes, one after the other. They go on forever, never stop.

It's a powerful movement.

The world would have to turn to end it.

It’s a soothing movement.

He feels a drag to join in. Always has been feeling this, when looking at the sea. It becomes irresistible now. If he would go in, he would become one with the waves, become one with their interminable movement. He would vanish, within the water, he would never have to feel anything anymore. Just give himself over to it, beautiful, always the same, sometimes intense and brutal, sometimes gentle, tender. It would be totally predictable, even in its changes.

It would be eternal.

He starts to take off his shoes, convinced that they will stop him from being one with the element. You cannot ride the waves with shoes on your feet, they’ll drag you down. You cannot become one with the waves wearing boots.

It’s a silly thought!

The water is around his knees when he feels a hand on his arm, strongly pulling him back.

It’s her, of course, always so damn watchful. However she got here so quickly.

She won’t let him go. She will never turn away, it’s in her head now and she can’t let go. This persistence was part of what made him love her.

He came to hate it.

It’s an intrusion. She is invading him.

Just not in the way he wants to be invaded.

And of course she confronts him, of course she yells. And shouts. It’s always the same, always. If she goes on, his head will explode. Could she just stop!

He turns, grabs her arms, pushes her back. She almost stumbles from his force.

He moves her backwards until her head hits the pole by the pier. He stops, exasperated, stares at her, eyes wide and hardened, can’t believe what he just did.

But she's not angry. Stops yelling. Just looks at him now. Doesn’t flinch, doesn’t turn her eyes away. Just a stare, as intense as his own.

Open, there is so much openness on her face, he can’t bear it. Earnest. Substantial. Deep.

She exhales. And says it, still holding his gaze.

„I want you.“

At first he thinks he didn’t understand. His confusion must show on his face.

And then she says it again.

„I want you.“

No mistaking the words. No bug in his ear. She had said what he has heard. He looks at her, what feels for a long time.

And then he turns away, starts walking, fast, and does not turn back.

He does not go into the sea. Keeps walking along the beach, towards the huts.

She follows him. Of course she does.

It’s been months now. Carrie has been taking care of Quinn. At least she thought so. Then he hit rock bottom, in spite of all the care she had given. She took him to her home after that and proved him wrong that he won’t get any better. Physically, that is.

They live together now. They see each other every day. They share meals, but the routine they have settled into is uneasy.

They are incredibly close, and yet, they are worlds apart.

She has never been able to get through to him. They don’t talk much anyway. They never talk about their arrangement, why she took him in, nor about what they have shared in the past. They don’t talk about the morning when he touched her, after a nightmare, and she rejected him.

They never talk about themselves.

Sometimes they are relaxed with each other, when Frannie is around. They can even laugh then. He disappears when the little one is out, and Carrie thinks that he avoids being alone with her.

He probably does.

Sometimes they come close, doing mundane things. So close that she can sense his body’s heat, that she can inhale his smell. She casts long looks at him when he doesn’t notice, or so she thinks.

Their hands had brushed once, when he had handed her Frannie’s jacket. She had thought that she would burst. The touch is engraved into her skin now, into her mind, more than any other time that they’ve come close.

But he recoils. He always does, pointedly sometimes. She wonders if he does not sense it at all. If he doesn’t feel the strain, if he is oblivious to everything.

She wonders if there is anything left.

She doesn’t know what to do. How to break the tension. Without breaking anything else.

It’s like living on the edge all the time, in your own home.

Quinn is back to his old strength, at least that’s what Carrie thinks. To watch him go into the water now takes her by surprise. All she can do is act on it, rush up to him, pull him back, yell. Shout at him. He can’t be serious, wanting to drown himself.

When he shoves her backwards and her head hits the wooden pole, she can see it, finally. It’s in his face, in his look, it’s all there. All bared.

The anger. The silent desperation. The passion.

And that’s when she says it. Has to.

„I want you.“ It’s as simple as that, plain, at the base of her feelings. Laying it out, in the open. For him to hear, to see.

But this time he turns _her_ down.

But she gets it now. She knows what she has to do.

She catches up with him at the beach huts, gets a hold of his sleeve, his arm. She uses her whole body to shove him against one of the huts, not caring to hurt him for once, hands on his shoulders until he can’t move away from her anymore. He tilts his head back against the wood, stretches his arms to his side, to show his defenselessness, his defeat.

She looks up to him. He is towering over her, yet utterly helpless, paralyzed under her hands, her touch, her gaze.

„Say ‚kiss me’,“ she says.

She puts her hand onto his chest, aware that he might snap and push her away with all the force that his anger might fuel. His breath is heavy now, coming in deep and painful takes. His eyes meet hers, and she sees the panic build inside of him.

„Say ‚kiss me’,“ she repeats. He looks at her with eyes wide open and writhes under her touch, breathing hard. 

And then she hears him say it.

„Kiss me.“

It’s a mere breeze, almost inaudible.

She goes on tiptoes to reach his face and touches his lips with hers, gently. His whole body tenses, and when she kisses him again, he remains motionless.

She touches his cheek. „Say ‚kiss me’,“ she repeats, and it is an order now.

He could lose himself in those words.

„Kiss me.“ His voice is audible. And this time she deepens the kiss, and he responds before he breaks away.

But she locks him with her hands on his chest, presses him against the wall. And it does not take strength but all her willpower to go through with it.

„Say ‚I want you’,“ she says, both hands on his chest now.

She can feel him struggle and it is an eternity before he meets her eyes.

„I want you.“ He’s calm now, as if it was something unavoidable, determined a long time ago. And they can finally give in.

When he tries to move his hand, he is able to do it. He brings it up to her cheek and tucks a strain of her hair behind her ear.

„I want you,“ he says.

**Author's Note:**

> A scene from the movie Blade Runner inspired this fic.  
> I wanted to see if it works for Carrie and Quinn ;)


End file.
